Flip Flab Floop!

Like Katherine Heigl in the movie 27 dresses, she was trying out every single attire and was asking me for my opinion ‘How do I look’ with this, This and This!  Annnndd This!! I was neither tired nor bored giving my opinion! Any one wouldn’t! With a neat athletic and toned figure like her’s! My! I myself stood there envying her. So I wouldn’t complain about the guys drooling over her. It’s the dimples, NO her height…or may be it’s her figure.  Ok I’ll stop; I’m neither homo nor a hetro!

            How many times have women sat in office browsing over Google pages for ‘How to get the perfect figure?’   Ok as embarrassed as I am to admit, at least I have. And I have at least 5 friends of mine in office who also crib about sitting in front of the system through out the day and feeling the flab’s and tyres bulging out and looking like sponge bob, replacing the square pants is a 1980’s bell bottoms trying to hide those extra kilos! All this crib started when I had just finished a day of hectic work at office and I came to my cab and sat down with a sigh of relief..The relief din’t last long…I looked down as to why I’m feeling so heavy today…Wow! I could imagine how Mister Hulk’s body grew and grew and his clothes tore apart. Mine was on its verge of parting. Okay a little exaggeration is needed to get to the point!

      Lately I have my mom complaining of how fat I have become and make sure she packs the perfect calorie meal for me. She is more desperate than I am to help me look neat. But it sure isn’t helping, and she hasn’t given up on me either.

      100 Crunches, 2 miles jog, Hit the gym, yoga… all this as I hear, if done everyday you’ll get the perfect abs your looking out for. Hmmm…I wonder who the hell set the perfect looking woman’s figure. Thanks to the Femina, Vogue and Kareena Kapoor with her size zero rage. What was she thinking? Setting such examples to today’s teens!! As they say, entertainment industry is spoiling today’s youth. True to its word.

       I’m not the only one cribbing  and complaining about the extra pop ups, Every other day I meet one or the other colleague or friend of mine who has the same concerns as mine . She would start with it as soon as she would stand in front of the mirror and feeling her extra fat and muscles, she would start with her daily chorus of how to reduce and get that perfect look. I would join her too. Neither proteins nor 8- 10 litres of H20 seem to be helping. I hate the other category woman…How they just keep on eating and eating and never have to try any of the so called abs exercises. And they say I’m working hard to put on those extra kilos.

        As I was saying, she stood there trying out all her attires and she turns to me, gives me a thorough look and said ‘I wish I was fat like you’.

        Yeah!!!!(Aargh!)  :/ That’s what she said! Man! What nerves she has!? I Am NOT fat! I yelled.